the spread (spred)

The onset of the first symptoms globally occurred on December 1, 2019, becoming news days later.  I began watching the media with detached interest for details of the spread of a pneumonia like virus, believed to have originated in a wet market in Wuhan, China, and spread within the city, then Asia.  When I heard of the first death resulting from the virus, I though to myself that there was no way this was going to make it’s way to North America let alone impact my life. I felt, that like other viruses such as the bird and pig flu, there would be no impact on me beyond its eventual inclusion into the seasonal flu vaccine I would eventually have injected into my body.

I was so utterly and completely wrong. 

Continue reading “the spread (spred)”

pur·pose (ˈpərpəs)

With this, my first non-prologue post, I’m going to address the title of this blog and it’s intended message. 

I have no illusions that the statement ‘how COVID made me healthy’ has the potential of being controversial, nor do I believe that the statement does not have the real possibility of being upsetting to others given how their own experiences during the COVID-19 pandemic might have impacted their homes, hearts and minds in a negative or harmful way.  To those who are upset by the title, I hope that you will come to  appreciate how COVID influenced and changed my personal reality; I am utterly sympathetic to your realities, even without knowing them, and apologize for any upset I may have inspired.

I want to be clear: for me, the sparks that ignited change to my life and wellbeing are not ones that I have any reason to believe would have occurred without the very specific circumstances of the impact of the COVID pandemic leading to the Pause of my life as I knew it; the cocooning that followed allowed the eventual signs of newfound health to begin to show themselves, and a for a new state of mental growth and wellbeing to begin to establish itself within me.  I have faith and believe in my heart of hearts that I am not the only wounded soul to have found some light and reason for hope and growth amidst a period of time in our lives when our respective senses of normalcy have been turned upside down and made foreign.

Let there be no illusions about my thinking: I am not an anti-masker, I am not a conspiracy believer that says this is pandemic is fake news, developed to influence the outcome of the upcoming election in the United States, nor do I feel for a moment that COVID-19 is something that should be left to run it’s course in order for the human race to develop herd immunity.  I have had friends, associates, and coworkers who have contracted the virus: one whom spent weeks in an ICU bed in an induced coma in order to become healthy enough to fight the virus and recover, and another whose elderly mother was informed of her positive test on a springtime Friday, who then had her health decline over the weekend and was removed from life support the following Monday, eventually passing away the next day.  I work in a world where COVID’s impact on society is unmistakably present and a constant reminder of its influence.  My heart goes out to those I know, and the multitudes of strangers (to me) who have lost loved ones after their having become infected by the virus, or whose lives have been irreparably changed as a result.

I am a believer of destiny, that I am sum of my experiences, that there are rare moments in time that occur for a reason, and that the lessons we learn from how we react to those instances and circumstances that are beyond our normal control shape who we are and our realities.  Sometimes we’re blessed to have the ability to choose, to be able to make an active, purposeful decision regarding how we will allow a moment in time will affect us, while conversely there are other moments in time in which we have no choice, that the will of that moment is forced upon us.  I came to the realization after months of numbing isolation started to ebb somewhat thanks to the onset of summer, that I had a choice: I could either allow myself be steered down a dark depressing path of isolation, or I could choose to embrace The Pause, and to take advantage of finding some positives in it, however small, in order to actively take steps towards finally discovering how to a healthy adult, and to find my purpose for the life still head of me.  This blog, and it’s entries, I hope will make it abundantly clear that I choose the later option.

My intent for the blog is to share with others my journey through the COVID pandemic and how despite the global impact, there is light, and benefit to be found in it, to share what that light has been for me, and how COVID made me healthy.    In time, I hope to hear and share your stories. 

pro·logue (ˈprōˌlôɡ)

The shutdown that COVID-19 caused in March 2020 brought something to my life that I hadn’t expected, and it wasn’t the obvious.

After seven months of social isolation, during what would have previously been a rare reflective moment but had now become somewhat the norm in my suddenly no longer rushed lifestyle, I came to the realization that I was becoming the person with qualities I aspired (and failed) to attain in my teenage years and twenties, and was no longer feeling lost and without goals, dreams, or purpose.

Had it not been for the horrific COVID 19 pandemic, which to date has infected 42.4 million people and taken 1,141,567 lives world-wide, I might never have elected to make the choices that finally opened the door to growing up, and becoming a healthy adult.

This blog is about my journey into self rediscovery and the awakening within me of goals, dreams, qualities and interests that seemingly had withered and gone dormant, lost to adult responsibilities.