It strikes me that getting another post up in only just about six weeks since my last one really should be considered to be progress, if not yet qualifying in my mind as a victory. Small steps toward victory (and whatever I decide that looks like for me) will have to do for this post from the Now.
With my pre-pandemic lifestyle and routine now for the largest part a distant, dusty memory hidden in the back of my mind, the challenge I have faced this fall has been to develop a new routine that now incorporates virtual elements into my ongoing work and volunteer endeavours, and makes myself as a higher priority. I hope these efforts will not be shoved aside or trampled by whatever new world order establishes itself post-pandemic.
Early in the pandemic, any thoughts I had about what life might look like for me post-pandemic really didn’t visualize themselves in my mind as anything other than a vast, black void of space, but now, as more and more signs of the life we once knew reappearing around us, that black void has been becoming lighter, and filling with a hazy grey. I decided as the haze grew that I wanted to take an active role in giving it hard lines and definition. Assisting me is the realization that I’ve also finally accepted the truth about the past: it cannot be changed, and the only way to move forward into the future unfettered, is to let go of it.
What sparked this line of thinking for me was the recognition of just how completely out of balance my volunteer endeavours, demands of work, and personal commitments have been with each other, even when two out of three factors continue to be conducted primarily virtually. The commutes between home, work, and volunteer sites, might have consumed time and money, but did they did not call upon the expenditure of a lot of mental energy, and as I’m realizing now, those travels did provide a chance for a break to think and an opportunity to catch my breath. In the new world order that awaits us, the danger is allowing the former commute time to be quickly and easily filled by meetings and their resulting commitments. With the coming of the new order, the Boil is starting to look an even bigger threat, and one that would not be as gradual or painless to fall into once again.
My Artistry has been elusive this week; it simply hasn’t wanted to come out to be exercised. Given the past couple weeks of pain in my neck, spiking workload due to covering for a peer, and my effort to find some passion in my volunteer efforts, I haven’t found the energy or focus enough to write. Time, has been something of an abundance (so much gone from my life and routines since March), so I can’t use finding time as an excuse for not writing, but a mind gone numb blocked my flow. As I seem to have found myself in a moment of clarity (and no, it’s not from being enhanced), I thought I’d take advantage of it, and give the keyboard a workout.
On Tuesday our provincial government dropped the other boot I’d been waiting for for what seems like weeks, but really only been seven to ten days.
That boot was word of a new isolation order, which I can’t help but feel should actually be called isolation-light as we’re not in the full lock down mode we entered into during the first wave of the pandemic, but something more refined and selective than the wholesale closures that occurred the last time. I’m not going to debate the merits, as it is what it is (remember I said not so very long ago that one of my survival skills has been to accept things I cannot change and move on? Well this is one of those scenarios), and why would I consider allowing any more angst into my life in a what is already a very stressful time? Additionally, my employment requires that I consider all perspectives of the parties who come to the table, to seek to understand their version of the truth, and how that might motivate their behaviour, even when I don’t necessarily agree with their actions or conduct. It has become an inescapable reality for me, because of my work, I have been learned to keep an open mind in order to be respectful of differing perspectives, regardless of any of my personal biases (an occasional annoyance to be explored in a post for another time).