a sunday of memories and hope

It’s the afternoon of Father’s Day and I’m lounging on our patio which continues to be our primary living space when the weather co-operates and allows us to relax in comfort. I find myself listening to Dire Straits’ ‘Brothers in Arms‘ album and thinking of my father, now missing for the second of these days. I now know I’ll spend all the Father’s Days ahead celebrating his memory and all that he contributed to my life.

I awoke this morning from a blissfully solid night of sleep; the kind it takes a few minutes for your eyes to un-gum from. Bae prompted the fur kids to wish me a ‘Happy Father’s Day’, but that instruction went unheeded, and despite this I willingly allowed my arm to become pin cushion later in morning after Bae had prepared a wonderful French toast and mimosa breakfast that followed the coffee that finally got the rest of the gunk cleared from my eyes.

Continue reading “a sunday of memories and hope”

pur·pose (ˈpərpəs)

With this, my first non-prologue post, I’m going to address the title of this blog and it’s intended message. 

I have no illusions that the statement ‘how COVID made me healthy’ has the potential of being controversial, nor do I believe that the statement does not have the real possibility of being upsetting to others given how their own experiences during the COVID-19 pandemic might have impacted their homes, hearts and minds in a negative or harmful way.  To those who are upset by the title, I hope that you will come to  appreciate how COVID influenced and changed my personal reality; I am utterly sympathetic to your realities, even without knowing them, and apologize for any upset I may have inspired.

I want to be clear: for me, the sparks that ignited change to my life and wellbeing are not ones that I have any reason to believe would have occurred without the very specific circumstances of the impact of the COVID pandemic leading to the Pause of my life as I knew it; the cocooning that followed allowed the eventual signs of newfound health to begin to show themselves, and a for a new state of mental growth and wellbeing to begin to establish itself within me.  I have faith and believe in my heart of hearts that I am not the only wounded soul to have found some light and reason for hope and growth amidst a period of time in our lives when our respective senses of normalcy have been turned upside down and made foreign.

Let there be no illusions about my thinking: I am not an anti-masker, I am not a conspiracy believer that says this is pandemic is fake news, developed to influence the outcome of the upcoming election in the United States, nor do I feel for a moment that COVID-19 is something that should be left to run it’s course in order for the human race to develop herd immunity.  I have had friends, associates, and coworkers who have contracted the virus: one whom spent weeks in an ICU bed in an induced coma in order to become healthy enough to fight the virus and recover, and another whose elderly mother was informed of her positive test on a springtime Friday, who then had her health decline over the weekend and was removed from life support the following Monday, eventually passing away the next day.  I work in a world where COVID’s impact on society is unmistakably present and a constant reminder of its influence.  My heart goes out to those I know, and the multitudes of strangers (to me) who have lost loved ones after their having become infected by the virus, or whose lives have been irreparably changed as a result.

I am a believer of destiny, that I am sum of my experiences, that there are rare moments in time that occur for a reason, and that the lessons we learn from how we react to those instances and circumstances that are beyond our normal control shape who we are and our realities.  Sometimes we’re blessed to have the ability to choose, to be able to make an active, purposeful decision regarding how we will allow a moment in time will affect us, while conversely there are other moments in time in which we have no choice, that the will of that moment is forced upon us.  I came to the realization after months of numbing isolation started to ebb somewhat thanks to the onset of summer, that I had a choice: I could either allow myself be steered down a dark depressing path of isolation, or I could choose to embrace The Pause, and to take advantage of finding some positives in it, however small, in order to actively take steps towards finally discovering how to a healthy adult, and to find my purpose for the life still head of me.  This blog, and it’s entries, I hope will make it abundantly clear that I choose the later option.

My intent for the blog is to share with others my journey through the COVID pandemic and how despite the global impact, there is light, and benefit to be found in it, to share what that light has been for me, and how COVID made me healthy.    In time, I hope to hear and share your stories.